Machismo

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Machismo is me being told not to marry a Mexican because I don´t know how to treat a king.

Machismo is the women around me commenting, ¨At least he didn´t hit me.¨

Machismo is a restaurant with women creating three course meals named after a man.

Machismo is men afraid of me because I choose to carry my own water jugs.

Machismo is my father in law who has never washed a plate.

Machismo is telling my two year old boy to put the broom down.

Machismo is never trusting a male cop.

Machismo is women seeking control of the only part of their lives they can: their spotless house  and fragrant kitchen.

Machismo is asking their husband who works in another country for permission to take the kids to the park.

Machismo is my father-in-law´s feet up on the couch and his wife sweating in the kitchen.

Machismo is having every task assigned to a specific gender.

Machismo is exclaiming my husband has a servant’s heart because he made his own quesadilla.

Machismo is four year olds announcing to me that my boy must be a girl because of _______.

Machismo is parents whose biggest fear in life is having a gay kid.

Machismo is doctors and vendors talking to my husband when I am the customer.

Machismo is doctors asking husbands or boyfriends if they can sterilize a woman.

Machismo is men who don´t know anything about their children.

Machismo is women pretending they don´t know about their husbands multiple other women.

Machismo is women taking care of other women´s children.

Machismo is my in-laws telling me to dress up and put on make-up or my husband will seek out other women.

Machismo is women being pounded to near death and never leaving the man because the government won´t maintain her and her children.

Machismo is women getting up at late hours to feed their husband who arrives in a drunken stupor.

Machismo is wives and children hoping their name gets put on the will.

Machismo is men never accepting a ¨no¨ from a woman.

Machismo is my father-in-law watching me writhe in pain post-partum to grab something rather than offering me a hand.

Machismo is the expectation that life will be spent serving a man.

Machismo is teaching girls to be moms and men to relax.

Machismo is a mom leaving her kids with grandma rather than with dad.

Machismo is using the Christian or Catholic church to approve the abuse of women.

Machismo is hearing talk of a man who brings his numerous women before his own wife and gets called later a ¨good guy.¨

Growth is my husband proud for ¨helping me.¨

Growth is enduring comments of him being whipped.

Growth is my boy who cries for his daddy to come home from a long day.

Growth is ensuring each member of our family feels loved.

Growth is a process we are going through.

Growth is being okay to step out of your own culture.

Growth is ending the systems in your own family.

Growth is my mother-in-law proud to see her son embrace being an active father.

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